Kayla

For this whole thing to make sense, I need to tell you a quick story of a girl named Kayla.

We met in senor-high. It amazed us both onto why both never knew the existence of each other throughout high school, our first class together was near to the end of our high school experience. We clicked straight away and just like that we started to fall for each other. But the start of our relationship did not have an easy start. She liked me first but wasn't sure the state of me liking her. That meaning, she knew I liked a couple of other girls. As a stupid young teenager, I wouldn't blame her for hesitating. I asked her out anyways though because she became my most liked her. She said no. Again, I didn't blame her. So I decided to take it slow and worked on our friendship instead.

We started to talk to each other every night, we saw each other every weekend and we hung out every moment at school. Something more came out of this. That something led to us engaging in our first time. It was then afterwards when our rapport together became the strongest it had ever been is that I wasn't going to ask her out. Maybe because I was too scarred from last time, I can't remember exactly. But after a push from her best friend, I asked her out. As good as it was, it only lasted a month. We tried again not too afterwards, but that only last three months. The problem was me, I still felt some strong feelings towards someone else. So after my second try with Kayla, I went for this other chick. I finally went out with other chick only to find that she was no Kayla. After a month and a huge depression stage that ruined my final exams... that was the end of that relationship and the end of high school.

I graduated and ventured upon my initial college years. Kayla met someone else over the break. But that didn't stop me from confessing my love for her intoxicated at the next party I was at that she also attended. It took a couple of weeks, but I won her back. She dumped this other guy and the next night she found herself sharing a long kiss with me.
Later she told me that she would never forgive me if we didn't last more three months. But I looked her straight in the eye and asked "Will you be my baby girl once more", and she replied with a yes. And this started a five and half year relationship. Together we experienced everything we could, but it wasn't enough by the fifth year. I gained a gut, I lost some of my friends and my life wasn't going anywhere. We weren't happy anymore. We weren't the same Chase and Kayla we were sitting at the back of the room in a physics class. So I broke up with her.

Since then, I lost my job working in a logistics warehouse but finally started to pursue my dream working in social science and psychology by going back into college doing a course studying psycho-therapy. I lost so much weight that now I have a six pack. I got in touch with some of my old friends which led me to start going out being more social. I am a totally different and better Chase... but it's not enough for Kayla anymore.

I know it was me who ended things and ruined everything. But I think I needed time for myself, some 'Chase-time'. Me and Kayla still talk to each on the phone for hours, see movies together, go shopping and eat out. We do everything we used to do, but not be together. I'm not sure, she tells me that she wants to know if there is anyone out there better, but she doesn't want to lose me. As confusing as it is, I love her and I want to fight for her still but there isn't much hope.

In six years she wants to have everything by then; kids, house, everything. I threw out a suggestion; in "How I Met Your Mother", Ted suggested to Robin that if they both turned 40 and still have not found someone, they would marry each other. I tweaked the idea so that when me and her instead turned 30 and still have not found someone, she would give me another try. I love her, but I need to start learning to be single... so this blog is the start of my story.